I Wish I Loved You
by west.island
Summary: Mitchie confesses her feelings to Mikayla.


**EDIT** - Hey guys, when I first wrote this the ending was pretty rushed and it kinda sucked. Changed it for the better, hopefully.**

**This one's a sad one. **

**I was watching Demi/Sel's youtube, and while it seemed obvious Demi adored Selena, I couldn't help but feel that Selena might not love her back. Idk though, they could be in a relationship right now for all we know.**

**Here it goes..**

Demi was standing by her bedroom door, wringing her pajamas in her hands. She was quietly watching her best friend Selena, who was stretched out across her bed. She was in only her underwear and one of Demi's Elton John shirts. She hadn't noticed her friend's presence yet, and she looked to be entirely focused on braiding a few strands of her own curly hair.

Demi knew it was wrong to be looking at her friend in that way; privately and greedily staring at all the parts she shouldn't be, storing away images she would surely fantasize about later. She didn't try to stop her eyes from roving up Selena's long legs and across her flat abdomen. They traveled over her breasts, and onto thin shoulders. Her gaze lingered on her friend's luscious lips, before wandering down her arm, and nuzzling into the fleshy part of her palm.

That's when her friend's voice startled her out of her voyeuristic daze, "Demi, where are you?" Selena asked into the air.

Demi couldn't handle having her over tonight. She took a deep breath before she entered the room, "Selena," Demi clasped her hands together, "Would you mind going home a little early today?"

"What?" Selena rolled over onto her belly, "Your parents just left town for an entire weekend with your little sister. We have the house to ourselves!"

Demi sighed and began to change into her pajamas. She wanted to be around her friend, but whenever they were alone together, she was scared of what she might do. She was in love with Selena, she had been for a long time, and she was fully aware of the likelihood that her love was unrequited. She watched Selena through rose-colored glasses, who seemed to grow lovelier with each day. Every second they spent together only made Demi want her more. It was getting difficult to hide her feelings, and she often had to stop the truth from escaping her lips. She finished putting on her shorts, and she slipped her tank top on over her head.

Demi turned to find Selena watching her with sad eyes. "Do you really want me to go?"

Demi paused to consider, then she shook her head, "No." She said, "I don't want you to go."

"Are you sure?"

Demi nodded. It was true. She didn't _want_ her to go. "Okay." Selena smiled slightly and patted the spot next to her on the bed. "Get in!"

Demi slipped into bed obediently. "Oh wait," she began to get up, "I forgot the lights."

"No its okay!" Selena grabbed Demi's arm and pulled her back. "Leave em' on. I wanna see you."

Demi bit her lip as Selena embraced her. Her friend rested her head on her shoulder, and wrapped their legs together thoughtlessly. Demi liked to have Selena's hair in her face, and the way their bare skin felt against each other. She reveled in it for a moment before she began to worry. They were far to close for friends.

She rolled over and pulled away, but Selena made a disgruntled noise and pressed herself fully against Demi's back. She placed an arm over her waist and hugged her. Demi's heart began to beat faster. She could smell the lovely perfume Selena always wore. Her friend's soft finger tips touched her belly. She could feel hot breath against her neck, close to her ear. Everything invaded her senses, and it was all so overwhelming.

Demi began to panic. Tears came suddenly. She shut her eyes, and cupped her hand over her mouth but she couldn't suppress her soft sobs. "Demi?" Selena raised her head surprised, and asked, "Are you okay?"

Demi had to sit up. She breathed in deeply, and tried to steady herself. Selena touched her lower back, and reached for her hand, but Demi pulled it away. "What's wrong?" she questioned.

"You're what's wrong Selena." She hated that her voice was shaking, "You're the reason for everything."

Selena reeled back as though she'd been burnt. "What could I have possibly done?"

"It's everything you do Selena." Demi pressed her palms against her eyes, "Why can't you see."

"See what!?" Selena pried Demi's hands off of her face and looked into her eyes, "You have to tell me what you mean."

But Demi couldn't. She could barely speak. She pulled away from Selena, and turned the other way. Selena didn't do anything for a long time, and Demi didn't dare look back. She had begun to think she had left, until she felt a hand on her back. "Demi, can you please tell me?" Demi shook her head. "Please?"

Demi stayed silent. She heard her friend sigh softly, and felt the bed shift as Selena stood. "I'm just going to go then." she said softly. "I don't think you want me here."

"Don't go." It was as heartfelt a plea as Demi had ever heard, "Please don't leave me."

Selena looked at Demi startled, "I don't want to go," she said, "I really don't, but I will leave if you don't tell me what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything _wrong_."

"But I did do_ something_?"

Selena sat back down on the bed. "You confuse me so much."she paused, "Tell me."

"I can't." Demi replied quietly.

"Tell me." Selena raised her voice, growing impatient.

"I can't." Demi repeated.

Selena was about to say something back, but she stopped herself. "Fine then." She stood and pulled on a random pair of Demi's pants laying on the floor. She grabbed her Converse and put them on, not bothering to search for socks. "Goodbye."

She walked across the bedroom, but just as she opened the door, she was grabbed by the shoulders and spun around. Demi kicked the door shut, and pushed Selena up against it. She placed her hands on either side of Selena's head, then she kissed her.

The kiss was forceful and passionate. Demi was telling her friend everything she wanted to in that kiss. She felt their lips melded together more perfectly than they should have. Selena began kissing her back, and Demi felt her heart exploding in her chest. She pressed closer to Selena and tangled her fingers into her hair.

She couldn't believe this was happening. So Selena felt the same way? But at that moment her friend stopped kissing back. Demi felt a pair of hands firmly shove her away. She stumbled back, and looked at Selena in shock. She was surprised to see her friend had tears in her eyes. She watched her turn back to the door and fumble to get it open, and she heard her hurried footsteps down the stairs.

It took Demi a moment to recover and decipher what she had just done from her jumbled thoughts. She followed her friend's fading presence, and raced out of her room, down the stairs. She found her front door wide open and was fully prepared to sprint out it, but as she neared it, she saw Selena.

She was leaning against the wall, crying and Demi stood watching her, not knowing what to do. Selena didn't look up for a long time. Slowly the tears stopped and she recovered most of her composure. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at Demi mournfully.

Demi immediately adverted her eyes, "I shouldn't have done that." she said, as tears began to roll silently down her cheeks.

Selena bit her lip, " It's better that I know"

"It shouldn't have been this way." Demi's voice cracked.

Selena didn't say anything.

"I've ruined everything, haven't I?" Demi asked.

Selena stepped close and gently took hold of both her hands. "I'm so sorry Demi." She shook her head, willing away her own tears. "I wish I loved you back."

Then she leaned forward slowly, and gave Demi one last intimate kiss, before she turned and walked away.

**Sorry if it's bad, I can't even see straight right now. I'm so friggin drunk, and it's 2:12 in the morning.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, please review!**

**PS - Should I make a sequel? No, nvm.**


End file.
